I never thought I had a problem. Then I had my 39th birthday. Hockey has a drinking culture nobody talks about honestly. I was inside it for 21 years.

This is what it actually looks like — and what it finally took to get out. Six years of junior hockey. Fifteen years of pro. I partied through all of it. The Japan years, the junior years, all of it. It was the culture. It was the code. Show up the next morning and give everything — that's what made you tough. Until the career ended. And the structure disappeared. And there was no next morning skate to sober up for. This is that story.